Unconditional Love

I use the following quote from Heather Forbes as a jump off point for this blog entry: When you learn how to put unconditional love into action, you have the power to change any family situation. Parenting through power and authority over our children comes from fear and ultimately undermines a child's ability to trust and relate to both themselves and others. Conversely, parenting through unconditional love and relationship equips our children to develop their own internal sense of control and empowers them to enter the world with a strong sense of self, well-developed love for self, and an ability to relate to others through tolerance, patience, and understanding. It simply starts by asking the right question, "What is driving my child's behavior?"

Unconditional love and unconditional positive regard are not easy things to give to our children. We think it is because afterall they are our children and we "love" them in spite of what they do. But...do we really show them love or do we try to control them and change their unacceptable behaviors. I believe that most parents, teachers, caregiver try to change behaviors through exercising authority and control. And most of us do this because of our own fears and stress...the fear of what if , what if we don't nip this behavior in the bud by letting our child/children know that this is unacceptable behavior. And we do this through using our authority to threaten in one way or another so they will see the error of their ways...OR ELSE. Or else what??? Or else we really will show them who is boss and will remove something from them...their toys, their privileges, our attention...