Labels, Diagnoses, Medications...

Having spent the last few days talking with parents and fellow professionals about children with behaviors that are considered disruptive, challenging, unacceptable to adults, etc., I am bereft at how little attention seems to be paid to what is underneath these behaviors.  And parents seek out professionals for help and in return they get labels, diagnoses, medications and sometimes dire predictions about what the future holds for these children.  I am left tonight with the thought that has been ongoing for me over the past 7 years:  Caseworkers, therapists, physicians, teachers, and parents continue to focus on behavior and how to eradicate inappropriate and disruptive behavior.  The majority of folks involved with these children want the children to change.  They want the behaviors gone.  And they want it gone...now!  The hard truth is that these behaviors did not emerge overnight; nor do they come out of a child's desire too be difficult, to anger his parents, to confound and irritate his teachers, these behaviors come from an unconscious place.  These behaviors are driven by stress.  And guess what, one cannot diagnose and medicate stress and expect any kind of long term result.  Yes, you can bandaid the behavior with behavior modification based on the label and diagnoses; and you can medicate to calm the acting out.  And indeed, I have come to believe that these remedies are the duct tape for inappropriate, disruptive behaviors.  One could probably even color code the palliatives:  red for Oppositional Defiant Disorder; blue for Major Depressive Disorder; green for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder; etc.  Problem is when you remove the tape...the behavior is lurking underneath.

Where can one find the cure?  Once we have exhausted all the labels/diagnoses (because after all, don't many of the diagnoses have the same behavioral indicators) and prescribed various combinations and permutations of medications, how often are disruptive behaviors still evident?  The answer, in my professional opinion, is yes...yes the problem is still there at a very cellular level.  The "cure" is healing and what we now know, is there is this connection between the mind and body (and yes, the spirit).  And it is only when our children can heal from the trauma that lurks in the brain (aka mind) that the behavior will diminish.  And the source of healing is not, I believe in the diagnoses/label and not in the pill bottle but rather in relationship.  Healing is in relationship that shows patience, empathy, acceptance, compassion, and encouragement.  And within the safety net of relationship healing can and will occur.