Welcome

to my blog, Connect thru Love. My postings will be about changing the parenting paradigm from consequences and control, which do NOT, I believe, have long term effects on behavior, to a love based teaching/living model. And what i appreciate most about this model, even from my very right-brained perspective, is that it is based on neuroscience and what and how the brain processes experiences. And though I am a therapist, when I work with families who are encountering difficult behaviors in their children, I am an educator and a coach to the parents.

I invite you to not only read, but to comment and ask questions regarding behaviors you are encountering with your children. And if you are a teacher, counselor/therapist, or case manager, I would love to hear from you as well.

To ask a question, please email me at connecthrulove@gmail.com
or simply post it in the comment section.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

True Resilience

In the many months since I have blogged, I have not been idle…I have used my Facebook page:  Challenging Children to write.  Sometimes, I realize that I just might be getting too wordy for a Facebook page and should use the blogging instead.  Today's thoughts are on what it takes to be resilient in the face of childhood trauma.  As always, I invite your comments.

Have you seen the movie, “The Heat” or the show “Mad Men”?  These are fictional stories of adults, but so obviously adults who have not healed from childhood trauma and keep trying to bury their life story with arrogance and false pride (really fear and stress in disguise).  They have achieved success, and some would say have shown how resilient people can be despite so many odds.  And then I realize that no one really puts his trauma to rest. In order to have healthy adult relationships, healing is what is most important and that is a process.  Trauma is not forgotten, it becomes a part of one’s life experience.  In the healing process children and adults develop a true resilience. True resilience because when trauma is worked through and healing has taken place, any shame and guilt that may be felt is understood from the perspective of who is really responsible for abandonment, abuse, or neglect. They learn the tools to calm when the unconscious trauma memories are triggered and come flooding in. 


1 comment:

  1. It is interesting that the use of the word resilience is sometimes used to minimize the impact of abuse and trauma--so I appreciate what you write here, a very fine and important distinction between resilience which looks often like minimal survival, amd resilience which emerges out of true healing. Thanks for this post!

    ReplyDelete

I really look forward to both your questions and comments.