Welcome

to my blog, Connect thru Love. My postings will be about changing the parenting paradigm from consequences and control, which do NOT, I believe, have long term effects on behavior, to a love based teaching/living model. And what i appreciate most about this model, even from my very right-brained perspective, is that it is based on neuroscience and what and how the brain processes experiences. And though I am a therapist, when I work with families who are encountering difficult behaviors in their children, I am an educator and a coach to the parents.

I invite you to not only read, but to comment and ask questions regarding behaviors you are encountering with your children. And if you are a teacher, counselor/therapist, or case manager, I would love to hear from you as well.

To ask a question, please email me at connecthrulove@gmail.com
or simply post it in the comment section.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Testing, Testing...

I realized after answering the question asked about behavior during ISTEP Testing that I should address teachers and proctors who are in the situation, several times each year, when state-wide and district wide testing is happening. Testing is a stressful situation for many students, of all ages. The mandatory testing of No Child Left Behind has put an extra dose of stress on not only the students, but the teachers, administrators, and parents. Schools are on high alert during testing week/s and that stress is communicated all the way down the line to the actual test takers. For students who have challenging behaviors, their stress level is at the max. And telling them to be on their best behavior and to pay attention to all the directions and to "NOT do this and NOT do that" and if they do "their tests will be thrown out," only pushes them over the edge (remember threats really don't work) that they are teetering on anyway.

Because this blog is all about interventions and not just more descriptions of why behavior is happening I do have several suggestions to offer. Alert all students the day before testing begins that it is going to be happening and that everyone knows that it is really really important to be at your best...but you know that they are going to feel stressed, frustrated, maybe even angry and that it is natural. You can even tell them that the adults in the building are probably going to be acting stressed as well. And that to make it easier, you are going to do some activities that will calm them before testing starts and during breaks. You want them to do some stretches and breathing exercises in addition to getting a drink and going to the restroom. (Check out Mindful Practices Wellness Program website). And remember teachers...breathe and calm yourself. And for your most challenging students, particularly the ones with IEP's that give them accommodations for testing be very sure you give them frequent breaks and have a proctor who can walk out of the room with them or have an administrator standing by your room and keep watch on those kids so you can catch them when they are beginning to go off task. Put a hand on their shoulder or arm, whisper an encouraging comment, tell them to BREATHE. I promise, it will make the testing go so much better with much less behavioral disruptions.